I am not good at change. I have had a lot of change happen to me in a very short time span in this last year. The glamour of weight loss is starting to wear off and I am left a little broken. Suddenly finding yourself with the body that you dreamed of (not really, but close enough - I had more realistic expectations) leaves you with a very strong "what now" feeling and that is when you suddenly figure out that weight loss does not solve all your problems.

I stood in front of the mirror this morning staring at this body that I feel like an imposter in. I feel like a fraud. One day I will wake up and the owner of this body will want it back and I will go back to the old me, the real me. The me my brain thinks I deserve. The invisible me. That little voice in your head, the one who likes to voice your self-doubts, doesn't like me at all. She never has. I am not friends with the nasty self-hating voice in my head. She has been working on trying to ruin my life since I was old enough to understand her. And today I find myself wondering why I give her so much power.