We all compare ourselves to others. You've done it, I've done it. It's messed up but society continues to encourage us to do it. Weirdly enough, that isn't my issue. I compare myself to what I believe I should be. I compare myself to "idealised future me", which is an impossible comparison. I will never win. Because I could always be better. I could always be more successful, less distracted, more productive, thinner, learn to dress better, be more adult, be a better wife, be a better friend, do more (ugh, or any) charity work... You get the idea. I set these massive goals for myself that I am set up to fail at. I've said this before; my brain is awful, and that bitch hates me.
I achieved about half of my 2017 goals. I started a food blog, I hit 30kg lost, I went on a road trip with Waide, I networked more, I worked on my art. I did not however have my own exhibition (what was I thinking), lose another 15kg in 2017 (unrealistic much??), "grow my business" (my life took a bit of a detour this year), get a new business website (seriously, money. Hah), or even read the Sherlock Holmes books. In fact, of all of these, I am most embarrassed by the book thing. I am a fast reader. In 2016 I read 47 books. This year, 5, and 3 of those were rereads. My first thoughts "oh god I have failed", my second thoughts "what the hell psycho, who cares if you didn't read much this year... There's no afterlife syllabus that I have to complete. This isn't some kind of cosmic homework".
So my goal for 2018 is one thing: give myself a break. Instead of new years resolutions I am going to set micro-goals. Tiny, inconsequential, achievable goals. "start painting in the mornings", "go get my art turned into prints", "blog some more", "leave the house during the week". Things I can control. Things that don't loom over me like a 15kg (extra) goal I was never going to achieve. 2017 kicked my butt, in a big way. So I've realised something: I have to be kinder and nicer and more compassionate to myself because I can't count on 2018 to "be my year" because it really hasn't been working out that way so far. If you only do one thing next year, be nicer to yourself.Tags: Health 2018 Resolutions Goals Microgoals Mental Depression Anxiety