The side effect of losing weight: other people

Start telling yourself that you are enough. Because, chances are, no one else will. My whole life I have been told repeatedly that I needed to lose weight, I was always made to feel that I was never good enough. This was done by people I knew, by friends, by family and in large part, by society. You all know this pressure, it starts when you realise you don't look like the "beautiful people", that you are different. It started for me when I was about 6. I didn't really look different then, but I felt different from everyone around me.

It's harder when this is coming from the people in your life. And, to a large degree, I don't think it's done on purpose but that doesn't make it sting any less.  When you spend your whole life hearing that you need to change, be better, be thinner, be different than you are; you start telling yourself this stuff. STOP THAT BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW. No one else is going to be your cheerleader, if you don't do it for yourself and by yourself, it won't happen.

Losing weight is bloody difficult, and I don't mean the physical stuff - because compared the things that come afterwards, that stuff is cake. The hard bits are the emotional baggage, adjusting to yourself and fielding other people's reactions. These things usually happen during and after weight loss. Despite this, weight loss is still 100% worth it. If only for the valuable lessons you learn about yourself and other people.

One of the most common stories I hear goes something like this:

"I lost a bunch of weight and my coworker/friend/mother/whatever told me I was looking great and asked how I was doing it. When I told them I was exercising more/counting calories/doing keto/photosynthesizing/whatever, they suddenly freaked out and told me I was going to kill myself by <insert whatever bloody reason you want here> and then they offered me food".

There are many variations of this, but most of them end with people pressuring you to eat something (opposite to your chosen way of eating). So here goes… if you are this coworker/friend/mother/whatever, CUT THAT SHIT OUT RIGHT THIS SECOND. It is not helpful, it is judgmental and it is not your goddamn place to police how someone else lives their life or what they eat or how much they exercise. If you are worried about this person hurting themselves, tell them, talk about it, rationally and carefully. Do not, for the love of Mike, push them to eat the things they are trying to stop eating. Stop sabotaging them.

Most of us have unhealthy relationships with food, this is how we got to this position in the first place. Can you even imagine how confusing it is when the same person that told you your whole life that you are unhealthy and need to lose weight suddenly turns around and says "You NEED to eat this dessert, don't deprive yourself of the good things!" Bitch, that's how I ended up fat in the first place.

And to you… the person who is working so hard to change your life, stop letting people do this to you. I am talking to myself as much as I am talking to you guys. I have sat quietly way too many times while other people told me what to do/eat/say. I started 2017 as the year I decided to focus on myself and to stop taking crap from other people. This is a very good step in the right direction. No one can tell you what to do with your body. Not your nutritionist, not your parents, definitely not society. You need to become your own cheerleader.

And stop letting people get away with this stuff. Call them out. There's a good chance they don't realise how hurtful they are being. So start telling them.

Tags: Life Weight Weightloss Carbs

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